Supporting Children
Helping your child after a traumatic event
Many children are exposed to traumatic events during the course of their childhood. The exposure does not have to be direct in order to affect your child. In many cases watching a TV report from the scene of a terror attack can be a distressing experience for them, and may cause post traumatic symptoms. Children may feel vulnerable and threatened in a world that they do not fully understand. The aftermath of such exposure may include fear, nightmares, regressive behavior (such as bedwetting in children that are toilet-trained), and an increase in aggressive behavior.
The way a child reacts to a traumatic event depends on a number of factors: age, personality, the severity and proximity of the traumatic event and the level of support received from family and friends. You, the parents are the single most important resource for your child’s coping during and after exposure to trauma. Most children will recover from exposure to trauma without professional psychological help,but with the aid of those close to them. That is why your support is essential and it is important that you as parents remain sensitive to distress signals your child transmits. During trying times parents are often focused on their own distress and loss, and children get left by the wayside. Make sure you pay special attention to your child during the aftermath of traumatic events affecting your family.
Below, we offer a number of practical suggestions that will help you and your child cope with this kind of crisis situation.
- Be aware of your own reactions to the event
Children work out how to react to a situation by watching the meaningful adults around them including parents, older siblings and teachers. So try, as much as possible, to behave in a calm and calming manner. In order to do this you may wish to share your thoughts and feelings with adult friends or family members before you talk with your child. - Devote more attention to your child
Extra attention on your part during this difficult time gives your child the opportunity to express his experiences and feel safe. If your child wants to talk about feelings, be supportive and encouraging. Show your understanding and acceptance of these feelings by explaining that feelings such as fear, anger and guilt are all normal reactions to such an "abnormal” event.
Additional information: Childhood Fears - Be sensitive to your child’s level of understanding
Adapt the information you provide your child to his age and maturity level. A surplus of information may confuse young children, and cause additional fear and insecurity. However additional information can often clear up misconceptions. Providing limited information and then allowing for questions is often a good route to take. It is important to encourage conversation, but if the child is not interested in talking, do not insist on it. In any case, it is important not to raise unfounded speculations or provide incorrect information about what has happened. - Limit your child’s exposure to the media
Avoid exposing your child to graphic and live reports from the scene of traumatic events such as terrorist bombings. This is particularly important in the early childhood and younger elementary school age groups. Often parents are so involved in the unfolding drama on television that they are unaware of their young child who may be exposed to television footage that will later cause distressing nightmares or thoughts.
Additional information: TV and Stress - Try to maintain a normal routine
and provide your child with reassuring and realistic messages about his safety --Talk with your child about how to avoid traumatic or distressing situations in the future. This will strengthen their sense of safety and control. Encouraging return to daily routine is very reassuring to children and carries with it a very strong message of safety in a nonverbal, yet direct way. Help your child relax using various relaxation techniques. - Be attentive to behaviors that signal distress
Pay attention to patterns of play that reenact the trauma again and again, and to complaints about "bad dreams". These behaviors are normal after a traumatic event, and are the child’s way of coping with the trauma. However, if there is no change in the intensity and frequency of these behaviors after a month, or if they intensify, professional help should be considered. - Be especially attentive to adolescents
that shows signs of distress. With adolescents special care and attention should be devoted to talk or thoughts about suicide, drug abuse, eating or sleeping disorders and unusual displays of anger. These symptoms should be dealt with immediately, as they generally don’t disappear of their own accord without professional treatment. - Pay attention to your own emotional state
As the main support that your child depends on, you must take good care of yourselves. Keep in touch with family and friends and share your feelings with other adults, particularly those who may have gone through similar experiences. Try to eat a balanced diet, get enough sleep and add physical exercise and other fun activities to your routine. And again -- do not hesitate to turn to professional psychological help for either consultation or treatment if it seems to you that you or your child needs it.
Additional information: Self Care
Processed from: "Practical Suggestions for Assisting Children in the aftermath of a tragedy", The American Academy of Experts in Traumatic Stress
Parents Guide for Helping Children Deal with Traumatic Events Worldwide
Top of page
Print this page
Send to friend
